TRAFFIC LIGHT…..apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches.

TELEVISION……..movies where people don’t step on your feet.

MOVIES…………television where people don’t interrupt with unexpected visits.

TRANSIT COMPANY…group that complains of bad business when all passengers get a seat.

DIVORCE………..post-graduate in School of Love.

PLAYBOY………..one who shortens the day by lengthening his night.

BACHELOR OF SCIENCE…one who has mastered the science of remaining a bachelor.

PIONEER………..early American who was lucky enough to find his way out of the woods.

MAN……………a remarkable animal whose head swells when you pat his back.

WOMAN………….creature who acts nice to you because she doesn’t like you, or mean, because she does.

PEOPLE…………some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority has no idea what’s happened.

LOVE…………..unseen when it comes, but visible when it goes.

SWIMMING POOL…..a mob of people with water in it.

SELF-CONTROL……the ability to eat only one peanut.

SALESMAN……….man with ability to convince wife she’d look fat in mink.

CANNIBAL……….person who likes to see other people stewed.

EGOCENTRIC……..a person who believes he is everything you know you are.

FOREIGN FILM……any movie shown in Texas theatre that isn’t a western.

OPTIMIST……….girl who regards a bulge as a curve.

PESSIMIST………man who looks for a pink slip before the money in his pay envelope.

EPITAPH………..a postponed compliment.

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MAGAZINE……….bunch of printed pages that tell you what’s coming in the next issue.

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Tags: mean, They

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